“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” -Albert Einstein 

What is Peace? Ask Google and you will find an array of answers: A state of tranquility or quiet. Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions. Harmony in personal relations. Peace is all of these things, and it simply cannot be achieved without learning how to resolve the inevitable conflicts, both internal and external, that arise in our everyday lives.

Over the past two weeks at Aishling Forest School, our focus was on conflict resolution and peacemaking. As a learner led, play-based program, we trust in our learners and utilize an elicitive approach where learners take responsibility for solving their own conflicts, with the help of mentors as needed. According to the research by Warren Heydenberk, Roberta Heydenberk, authors of “A Powerful Peace: The Integrative Thinking Classroom”, conflict resolution and critical-thinking are “related and complementary” and that “problem solving, critical thinking skills and conflict resolution skills occupy different places on a continuum”. They add that “perspective-taking abilities; listening and comprehension and divergent thinking abilities” are all skills that learners need if they are to learn conflict resolution. This is especially true when they encounter different values that are often the source of conflicts. Rather than depending on the mentor or teacher as the expert, the elicitive approach creates a facilitated learning environment and the relationship between learners and mentors redefines knowledge as implicit in the setting rather than in the mentor.

At Forest School we attempt to resolve conflicts and provide the learners with tools using three main steps:

1. Verbalizing what is causing the conflict, using “I statements”
2. Validating one another’s feelings (or having a mentor help to validate) to ensure listening and understanding
3. Working together to find equitable solutions

One way we present these steps of conflict resolution to the learners is through role playing, as role playing has been shown to decrease interpersonal conflict among children because it provides an outlet to express emotions. What this might look like in person is two learners acting out the following scenario:

Briana and Jacob are both playing in the mud kitchen. Briana makes a mud cake and Jacob smashes it. Briana states “Jacob, I was working hard on my mud cake and you smashed it, that made me feel very upset.” To which Jacob replies, “ I wanted to smash the cake because it looked squishy. I hear that made you feel upset. I’m sorry.” How about we agree not to smash each other’s creations?” They agree, and the play is able to continue with a new understanding of how to relate to each other.

When we take a different approach and ask the learners to come up with their own scenarios, they often pull from real play experiences they have had here at Forest School. Providing the learners with this opportunity for conflict resolution in a safe, mediated space, often translates to them using those skills the next time a real life dispute arises. Instead of shutting down or walking away from a conflict, they are now better equipped to address it head on and find a resolution that works for everyone.

One case study at two schools in South Africa found that role-playing and other play-based conflict resolution games had profound lasting effects on the students. The participants reported learning to “listen to and appreciate their peer’s perspectives; identify things they shared in common with people whom they had thought different; communicate with people of other ethnic groups even in conflict situations; control their feelings and speech; appreciate the roles of conflict for life; help to transform conflict into productive, non-violent outcomes; appreciate the merits of both sides of arguments; and the joy of having and enjoying friends from other ethnic groups.” This shines a very important light on the fact that conflict often arises from our perceived differences from one another. At Forest School, we have learners of all different ages and abilities. When we work on skills to resolve conflicts among our diverse group, we are also fostering inclusivity, and there is no greater path to peace.

Finding peace within ourselves is equally as important as making peace with one another. Being an all-outdoor program, Mother Nature does a lot of this work for us. Contact with nature is calming as it reduces negative feelings like stress and anger and promotes positive feelings. Spending time in nature has even been shown to have a positive effect on self-esteem. In addition to having Mother Nature herself as our peacemaker, having a small learner to mentor ratio gives us the opportunity to individually help a learner who might be struggling with difficult emotions on any given day. A learner struggling with anger might find some relief in tool work. The hammocks and sensory swing that are available for learners to use can allow a child to calm by neutralizing any disruptions that might be caused by their vestibular system. A short swinging session can leave a child feeling more balanced for hours afterwards. All of these tools help promote peace within the learners and then ultimately with one another.

Continuing the Conversation About Peace at Home:

1. Check out the book “The Peace Rose” (a Forest School staple). The rose is a symbol of peacemaking. At Forest School we use our “talking stick” but it can be any household item that indicates that peacemaking is needed. It is a tool to help you pause, and consciously use the steps of conflict resolution to solve a dispute.
2. Consider creating a peace corner in your home. A calming, safe space where your learner can go to work through difficult emotions – if possible try making it an outdoor space, to reap the benefits of mother nature.
3. Ask your learner what peace means to them, and together work toward that goal.